Fire and Blood
by OnTheArrow
Summary: The tale of Aemilia Shepard, from her childhood on Mindoir to (probably) the end of Mass Effect 3. Colonist/Ruthless/Vanguard/Paragade. The story will consist mainly of off-screen moments from the games, and will be told from the perspectives of several characters. Definitely Shoker, 'cause those two are awesome, plus several pairings as the story progresses. I hope you enjoy :)
1. Chapter 1

"Miss Vance? What happened to you?"

Mrs. Annabel Oxton, who taught English and Maths at New Alford College, approached the teenager with concern. Jocelyn Vance, an eleventh-grader, was lying on the floor. Her mousy hair was all tousled, her lips parted and her eyes wide with shock. Annabel knelt next to her and checked her body for fractures and traumas; she found nothing besides a few contusions here and there. The girl was lucky: Shepard had gone easy on her. Last term, Jason Mellor had been less lucky, and had to spend three weeks down at the hospital. Shepard got suspended for several weeks, and her grades went from barely acceptable to catastrophic.

Annabel turned towards Evangelina Henkins, Vance's inseparable friend, who was sobbing in the corner next to her.

"Would you care to explain what happened here Miss Henkins?" She asked.

The teenager pointed an angry finger at a red-haired girl who was discretely climbing onto the third floor's window still.

"It was her! She did it!" Henkins shrieked.

The teacher's eyes went wide when she turned around and saw the girl who was now frantically fumbling with the window's handle.

"Shepard! Stop! This instant! You'll get hurt-"

made for the window, but she was too late. The demon child had made the jump, and the concerned teacher could only watch her fall towards the ground below at dangerous speed. Just before she hit the hard earth, however, a faint blue glow enveloped Aemilia Shepard, slowing her fall and letting her land unhurt.

Annabel sighed with relief while leaning from the window to shout at the redhead, who was now sprinting towards the town centre.

"You won't get away with this young lady! You'll have to come back sooner or later!"

She closed the window and turned to the Vance and Henkins. The mousy-haired teenager was slowly emerging from her shock: her eyes were more focused, and she seemed to have at least some understanding of where she was, as she looked at with apprehension.

"Henkins, be kind enough to walk miss Vance to the Infirmary. I shall talk to the Principal and get back to you both."

The girls did as they were bid, and Annabel glanced back towards the window through which Shepard had disappeared a few minutes ago.

"Wild child." She muttered to herself with a tired smile.

* * *

 _I TOLD them to stay away! Stupid, stupid girls._

She was out of breath, and her sides hurt from the effort, but she stubbornly kept running until the College was out of sight. Only then did she allow herself a break, slowing down to a walk.

She hadn't meant to hurt Jocelyn; she hadn't meant to hurt _anyone_. Aemilia had always been a good kid, and a decent enough student… at least until her biotic powers started to manifest.

The first incident, so to speak, dated back to almost two years ago. Sam and her were playing in the family orchard, climbing on the big fig trees to get to the juicy fruits at the top. Samantha had spotted a huge one on one of the tallest branches, and Aemilia encouraged her to go for it, ignoring the loud creaking of the branches under Sam's weight. Her sister had almost reached the fig when the branch she was standing on snapped in half. Aemilia shrieked in fear, helplessly extending her arm towards Sam who was rapidly falling towards the ground. Suddenly a bluish glow enveloped her sister, pulling her back up towards her elder at full speed. The impact sent them both flying backwards; luckily, they landed on a large hay stack, and were mostly unhurt.

Her mother was scared at first, but her father knew that such incidents were happening to young children all over the galaxy. All kids showing biotic tendencies had to be registered with the Alliance for future reference, but Shepard's family had refused to do so. Mindoir was relatively distrusting of the military, and her parents were no exception; they'd heard rumours of horrible things happening to young teenagers on the Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training program set up by the Alliance.

Luckily Shepard had only been involved in a few, isolated incidents, and nobody had reported her so far. Lately, though, she felt her biotics growing stronger; sometimes she would grow restless, feeling the strange energy building up within her body. It scared her; made her twitchy, irritable.

A few months ago, she sent Jason to the hospital after he made fun of Sam for wearing the same coat throughout the Autumn term because they couldn't afford a new one. Jason was in Sam's class; he was a few years younger, and several inches smaller than Aemilia. She only meant to shove him out of their way, but as she moved towards him a wave of energy shot through her limbs and she sent him flying. Luckily for her, his parents were friends with hers and didn't report her; but a lot of students had started avoiding her like the plague.

Aemilia grimaced at the thought, her eyes gazing up to the cloudy sky.  
Every night, she dreamed about the vastness of space; it was comforting to think that beyond the prefabricated houses of New Alford, there was a whole galaxy to explore, brimming with life, adventure and excitement. She wondered if she'd ever get to see any of it, if she'd ever be able to leave this stupid planet. _Probably not_ , she thought to herself. Interstellar travel was expensive, even if she ever managed to leave Mindoir, she'd likely be limited to this old, stinky system.

The thought made her angry.  
She saw a pebble lying in the middle of the pavement and kicked it with force; it flew for a good few metres before landing at the feet of her family's farm's gate. Without realising it, she had walked all the way home. She hesitated, knowing all too well she would be in huge trouble _._

 _I'll have to face them sooner or later_. She thought.

Her heart heavy, Aemilia decided to walk slowly towards the prefab house that stood among large ploughed fields, bracing herself for the upcoming scolding.

* * *

"What happened Em? You should know better than to lose control with the other children." Her father's voice was harsh, but his eyes remained kind. "If someone were to report you…"

"I know what will happen if someone reports me." She hissed. "Dad, I _didn't mean_ to hurt Jocelyn! I… I was feeling funny, like every time the biotics are building up and need releasing. So I went and hid in an empty classroom. But they followed me! I told them to stay away, _I told them_ , but they wouldn't listen!"

Her eyes had reddened; she was afraid, afraid someone would call the Alliance, and she'd be sent away to some dodgy brain camp. She'd never see her family again, she thought anxiously.

"You're a good kid, Em." her father sighed, stroking her auburn hair in an effort to calm her down. "I know you didn't mean to hurt the girl."

"We have to do something about this, Arthur!" Her mother's voice was worried. "There have been too many accidents; someone's going to tell. Someone _always_ tells."

Her father's face hardened.

"There's nothing we can do, Christa."

"We need to leave Mindoir! A fresh start, somewhere else. In some other colony, where no one knows about Em!"

"You know we cannot do that." her father replied, not unkindly. "All we have is this farm, and we are not rich; we'll have to make do for now."

Aemilia had heard enough. Seeing her parents worry scared her; if they were worried, then the danger was real.

She knew she couldn't hide her strangeness forever: they would take her, sooner or later. She stormed out of the kitchen, unable to hold back tears, and ran out of the house.

* * *

 **Author's note:**

* * *

Holy crap, I finally decided to start posting a fic I've been working on for a while now!

It is going to be a long one, probably extending from Mindoir all the way to the events of ME3, so I wanted to make sure I had enough chapters written before posting it :)

Just to explain the setting a little better: I picture Mindoir as a rather poor farming colony, where most people don't have access to all the cutting-edge tech we see in the Mass Effect universe. As a result, I imagine their way of living is quite traditional, and perhaps more similar to the world as it is today (except for, ya know, space travel and aliens and all :) ). I hope this isn't breaking the immersion too much!

I hope this chapter wasn't too boring/uneventful; it was written to serve as an introduction for Aemilia Shepard, and there will definitely be more action as the story progresses. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading!

Finally, I am in no way an accomplished writer, and as you may have noticed English isn't my first language! So any comments/critiques are more than welcome :D


	2. Chapter 2

She found her mare in the stables, munching on some freshly cut hay.

"You'll get fat, Sierra." She called out. "Actually, you already are." She added, patting the horse's rump.

The animal turned around with impressive speed and tried to bite her. Aemilia laughed and jumped sideways to avoid the mare's teeth.

"Rude!"

Sierra snorted and went back to her hay. The old mare had been with them since Aemilia was four. They couldn't afford much machinery for the farm, so one of their neighbours had gifted them one of his foals to serve as a draft horse and help them with the day-to-day tasks. The mare soon proved to be more hassle than she was worth, though: she refused to wear any kind of harness, biting viciously every time anyone tried to tie her to a cart or a plough. Eventually, she became more of a companion animal, though she remained spirited and generally uncompliant. Her mother taught Aemilia to ride bareback, as all efforts to put a saddle on Sierra's back proved fruitless. Shepard loved to ride around the farm, although her rides consisted mainly of the mare galloping around at her own leisure while Aemilia bounced around on her back laughing. She sat down next to the animal until the sun came down, swatting casually at her every time the mare lunged forward to try to bite her.

"Em?" Samantha's voice echoed through the darkness.

Aemilia rose to her feet, covered in hay and dust, and waved at her sister. Sam had never been one for manual work. She hated the stables and only rarely ever got close to Sierra, or any other animal for that matter, for fear of getting smelly and dirty herself. She was a very good student though, and pretty, with long, thick brown hair like their mother. Aemilia, on the other hand, had inherited her father's hair, fine and auburn. She'd cut it short every time it started growing past her shoulders: her hair would always get messy anyway, and she'd hate having to spend hours detangling it and caring for it as Sam did.

"How can you just sit here for so long? It smells."

"It doesn't smell as bad as Jocelyn Vance." Aemilia said with a grimace, making her sister laugh.

"Mom sent me to get you; she says dinner is ready. You should really have a shower first, though." Samantha added, raising her eyebrows at the sight of her.

"Meh." Aemilia shrugged, but she took the time to at least remove the hay from her hair before following her sister.

The night air outside had a crispness to it that was typical of winter. It wasn't snowing today, but it was cold enough that Aemilia shivered as they walked silently across the fields and towards their house.

"Mom says they're going to take you away." Samantha suddenly blurted, eyes firmly on the ground.

"I bet you'd like that, huh, Sam? No more having to deal with your smelly sister." Aemilia teased, gently shoving her younger sibling aside.

"It's not funny!" The other replied, stomping the ground with her foot in frustration. "You have to be more careful!"

"Ughh. You sound just like mom sometimes." She rolled her eyes.

"And you sound just like dad." Her sister retorted. "You never worry until things come back to bite you in the ass!"

Aemilia threw her head backwards, laughing.

"Who taught you that word? It's naughty, you know."

" _You_ did." Sam muttered, flushing slightly.

The elder took her sister's hand playfully.

"They won't take me away, don't worry. If they come, I'll hide in the stables. Even the Alliance's toughest marines wouldn't want to come anywhere near Sierra, I'm sure."

Sam giggled.

"You know, maybe you should join the military. You already look like a boy anyway – and you can fight. I saw you kick that guy Andre into the dirt last summer."

"What do you mean I look like a boy?" Aemilia swatted at her sister, hitting her gently in the back of the head.

"I'm just saying. Nicholas said… he said the military is looking to recruit biotics. He said they don't send people to brain camp anymore: Nick's brother joined a few months ago, and some of the other recruits are biotics. They're teaching them to control their powers and-"

"Oooh, it's _Nick_ now, is it?" Aemilia interrupted as her sister's face reddened. "I didn't realise you two were _that_ close." she mused.

"Shut up! He's just a friend!" Sam protested.

"A _cute_ friend."

Aemilia had come to know to boy well enough since him and her sister had become inseparable. He was lean and tall, with dark brown hair and bluish eyes. He was younger than her, but she had to admit he was rather good-looking.

"You're too young for this sort of things Sam." She admonished.

"What things? We… we haven't done anything." Her sister admitted in a low voice.

"No? Not even…" Aemilia pursed her lips, mimicking a kiss.

"No." Sam insisted, turning a deeper shade of red. "Now shut up before Mom hears you."

* * *

After dinner they walked back to their room. When she was younger, Aemilia had pleaded to have her own bedroom; she was ready to move into the attic, she said, but her parents refused her. These days she was happy to share with Sam.  
Most nights she didn't sleep very well at all: she often dreamed that the Alliance was coming for her, that they would take her away forever and she'd never see her family again. When she'd wake up from her nightmares, hearing the quiet, regular breathing of her sister would calm her.

Tonight, she was laying in her bed, fully awake, thinking of all that had happened earlier with stupid Jocelyn. She could hear her mother fumbling with her pots and pans downstairs, getting food ready for tomorrow's breakfast. Her dad was in his office near the stables, reviewing their accounts like every week. Samantha was already asleep in the bed opposite from hers: her sister had always been a heavy sleeper, Aemilia thought with a smile. She'd almost fallen asleep when she heard the deep thrumming of a spaceship in the distance. She smiled in her torpor, wondering where it may have come from – some distant system maybe. It could be an asari ship. Aemilia had seen asari in a few occasions: she found them all very beautiful, and kind. She frowned as she heard more ships approaching: that was… unusual. Some sounded very, very close to home. Downstairs, her mother had stopped fumbling with her pots; Sam was still asleep.

There was a loud bang, then another, and she heard people screaming in the was on her feet in a split second, and she jumped towards Sam's bed, shaking her sister vehemently until she opened her eyes. That was when their mother opened the door, but she didn't come in, and just stared at her eldest daughter with wide eyes. In her panic, Aemilia hadn't noticed how brightly her biotics were shining: her whole body was bathed in a bright azure light. Stress always seemed to cause a spike, so she tried her best to breathe slowly for a few seconds to calm herself down.

"Mom? What's going on?" Samantha's voice was thick with sleep.

"Put something on. Warm clothes. We need to leave! NOW!"

The fear in her mother's tone startled her, and she helped Sam out of bed. Her sister looked genuinely terrified, so she helped her get dressed first. Aemilia then fumbled with the pile of her own clothes that lay all tumbled on the floor: right now she wished she'd listen to her parents when they told her she had to fold her clothes properly. She managed to find a pair of warm trousers, a coat and a pair of thick leather boots. She grabbed her green woollen hat, her favourite, then grabbed Samantha's hand as they followed their mother down the corridor.  
The hadn't reached the stairs yet when they heard loud banging at the door; Samantha screamed and her mother put a hand on her mouth to muffle the sound. Christa turned to her eldest daughter.

"Em, baby, you're gonna have to get us out of here."

Aemilia nodded bravely and stepped towards the stairs.

"No!" She heard her mother whisper. "Don't go near them, it's too dangerous."

The woman looked around in a panic.

"We'll leave from the bathroom's window." She decided. "Then make for the woods. It's a big jump, but you can slow our fall, right Em?"

Aemilia was unsure.

"I… I can try, I… don't know if it's going to work."

"We have no other choice." Her mother replied.

She was right; the only way out was through the front door, and _they_ were at the door. Aemilia nodded and kept dragging her terrified sister along. Samantha was now sobbing quietly, but at least she wasn't screaming. Their mother opened the window, and the chilly winter air came pouring in. She hugged her two daughters tightly.

"Ready?" She asked Aemilia.

The girl nodded, her biotics shining again, and they jumped into the darkness.  
Trying to keep the three of them afloat was hard; Aemilia could feel the strain on her body, as if she was being drained of all of her energy. She focused and focused, all the way down, and for a second she thought they wouldn't make it. Luckily they hit the ground before she had to give up, trembling weakly as she struggled to get back on her feet.  
Suddenly, there was a loud noise: close, really close. Then she heard a familiar voice screaming. Aemilia turned around in horror. She saw her father being dragged out of the barn by three strange silhouettes that didn't quite look human. They were dragging him out, but he was fighting back, and for a moment she thought he would win. Then one of the three… _things_ pulled out a gun. There was a loud bang, then silence again. Her vision went blurry as she muffled a sob. Her mother was dragging her backwards, and she fought feebly, her biotics now shining very dimly. Maybe he was still alive, maybe she could still save him.

"Em!" Her mother's voice seemed distant, like in a dream. "EM!" she called again, and this time Aemilia turned to face her. "Sam. You have to protect Sam now."

Her mother was shaking her gently. The elder girl nodded slowly in understanding, and started running with her mother and sister, not looking back, _never_ looking back. All around them, she saw fire; Mindoir was burning. The fields, the market, the prefab buildings... The people, too. The air was thick with smoke. She heard people screaming, heard children crying and mothers pleading. She wanted to cry, but Samantha was till clenching her hand, and Aemilia knew she had to protect her, and their mother too. She was the only one who could.


	3. Chapter 3

They started running madly among the burning ruins of Mindoir. They took a few sharp turns, and soon found themselves near the Ryder's house: it was burning too. Aemilia wanted to go help, but her mother pulled on her arm sharply and forced her to hide behind a thick hedgerow. They crouched silently trying to make sense of what was happening. They heard harsh voices, and loud metallic sounds. Were those… cages?

Aemilia shuffled to the side a little, until she found an opening in the hedgerow from where she could see. Instantly, her heart sank. She had a better view of the _things_ now, and she knew they were batarians. She'd learned about them in school, and she knew they were competing with humans for control of the Skyllian Verge. They were ruthless, vile, and they were _slavers,_ she thought with a shudder. Suddenly there was a scream, and two batarians came out of the burning house dragging four humans. Mrs Ryder lived alone with her four children since her husband was reported as missing in action years ago. Alden, the eldest, had recently followed in his father's footsteps and joined the Alliance, so it was only the three of them now. Aemilia watched in horror as she saw Nick, as well as his sister Ella, being flung into one of the cages. Their mother was clutching their baby brother, but they tore him away and threw her in the cage too. The batarian then looked at the screaming baby with disgust.

"Useless." She heard him mutter.

The alien whirled around, holding the infant in one hand, and violently bashed its skull against the wall of the house. There was a rain of blood, and the most haunting scream Aemilia Shepard had ever heard. Mrs. Ryder kept wailing until the cages were loaded and the small ship departed. Then there was silence. They resumed their mad run in the darkness. They avoided all the crowded areas, until finally they reached the woods in the South-East. It was almost morning, and the winter sky was streaked with the reddish hue of dawn. They came to a halt, exhausted, freezing and terrified, but alive. In the distance, she could still hear ships taking off. She also heard gunfire, and what sounded like heavy cannons. The Alliance had arrived, her mother said, but she refused to go back. Not until they were sure the tide had turned. Aemilia turned towards her sister: Sam was pale, so damn pale, her eyes swollen from crying. She hugged her younger sibling tightly, to make her feel safe.

"They took Nick." Samantha croaked, her voice barely a whisper. "They took Nick… and they, they… the baby, they… _Oh God._ " Her voice broke and all Aemilia could do was hug her tighter.

They remained there for what felt like an eternity. At midday the wind rose, carrying with it the smell of burned plastic, and burned flesh. Countless hours passed until the gunfire finally quieted down.

"Mom, we have to go. We can't stay here forever. They'll find us." Shepard remarked restlessly.

Her mother shook her head.

"But the Alliance is here! We are safe!"

"We _have_ to keep hiding Em. We still don't know who won."

Aemilia protested feebly: the thought of hiding endlessly, not knowing whether they were saved or doomed was driving her insane. However, she ended up listening to her mother: she doubted she had the strength to walk all the way back anyway.

"Em, I'm scared." Sam's voice was miserable, and Aemilia's heart sank.

"I know. We'll be fine, you'll see. The military is here now."

"They… can't help us… there's too many and… they killed Dad, Em! Why did they _kill_ him?"

Her sister was in a state of deep shock, her eyes wide and wildly jumping around while she muttered nonsensical word to herself. She wouldn't let go of her elder's hand, so Aemilia kept holding it, while their mother tried to soothe the frightened girl by humming a calming lullaby.

* * *

Samantha shrieked when the batarians found them. One of them was badly wounded, and it looked as if they had been left behind by the rest. _They are scared._ Aemilia thought. _They have nothing else to lose._  
That made them even more dangerous, she realised, fear jolting through her body. She jumped to her feet, while behind her her mother grabbed Sam and made her stand up.

"Run!" Aemilia screamed at them, feeling her biotics spike.

But the batarians pointed their guns at them, and the three women froze.

"I wouldn't if I were you." One of the aliens growled, approaching them. Christa was holding both her daughters now, in a desperate bid to keep them safe.

The batarian grabbed the eldest woman and twisted her arm, forcing her to release the two girls.

"Your stupid race is as helpless as they say, woman." The batarian spat on the ground.

"At least they're pretty enough." His companion said. "If we're going to get put down by the Alliance soon, we may as well enjoy ourselves."

The third batarian let go of his wounded comrade and grabbed Samantha.

"I want this one. You can have the tomboy." He said, his head jerking briefly toward Aemilia.

Christa tried to fight, but the batarian was holding her down firmly. Samantha was pleading feebly, her voice shrill, her eyes full of fear, as the alien started tearing her clothes off.

"LET HER GO!"

Aemilia's body was glowing again, brightly this time. Her heart was pounding and her mind was blank. She was losing control; the thought filled her with terror, which only made it worse. A few second later, there was a bright blue flash, and the batarian who was holding Samantha down went flying. He hit a tree, hard, and his neck made a terrible noise as it shattered under the impact.

"You bitch…" One of the aliens muttered, but they all seemed reluctant to approach her now.

Aemilia saw that her mother had managed to get to Sam, but her sister seemed too terrified to move; Christa started dragging her daughter to her, but the batarians were faster. One of them shot her mother in the leg, then in the arm: she screamed in agony, and Aemilia felt her whole body burn as her biotics surged. There were more screams, a single gunshot, and a blinding blue light. Then the silence fell again.


	4. Chapter 4

The smell made him sick. _Burned flesh_ , he thought, and he felt his stomach turn.  
At least the screaming had quieted down: he never thought it would. Mindoir was burning; so far, no survivor had risen from the ashes. It had taken the Alliance well over 20 hours to eliminate the batarians, and too many of them had escaped, taking hundreds of civilians with them. _Hundreds of slaves_.

He'd seen them: hundreds of screaming bodies all squeezed in tight metal cages. Some cages were so overcrowded that the cold, thin metal bars had dug deep into the flesh of those standing near the edge. Most of them had died, and each cage sported at least a few bloody corpses, with their limbs hanging loosely. Several privates had lost consciousness at the sight, but he was a First Lieutenant now; he couldn't afford the luxury.

"Zabaleta get your shit together!"

Two soldiers were standing among the burning ruins; David approached them cautiously. He recognised Commander Hackett, his C.O, instantly. He didn't know the other man, but he felt a great deal of pity for him nonetheless. The one called Zabaleta was a crumbling mess of a man. He was leaning against a charred wall, his breath ragged, his eyes wide with terror; at his feet lay the corpse of an infant, its head reduced to a pulp, its body soaked in blood.

"Commander…" Anderson began, but his superior cut him short.

"I will escort private Zabaleta back to the Einstein. Keep looking for survivors Anderson. Someone ought to have made it."

The two men left him, and suddenly everything was silent. Anderson started walking among the desolate ruins, calling out for survivors, praying to God almighty that someone, somewhere would answer his call.

Lost in dark thoughts, he startled when someone called his name. He turned around slowly, his face morose and his gaze somewhat vague.

"Anderson, I am so sorry."

A tall, lean woman stood among the ashes. She was a few years younger than him, although the sadness in her eyes made her look much older than she was. Her blond hair was pulled back in a high ponytail, and her face was covered in mud, ash and blood.

"Gunnery Chief Ezell." He acknowledged her with a nod. "You look like shit."

He smiled feebly at the woman. Lyanna was a good soldier, deadly with a rifle and a skilled engineer. _Pretty enough too_ , he thought, _when her face isn't covered in crap._

But the Chief didn't smile back. She looked mortified, and kept avoiding his gaze.

"I am _so_ sorry Anderson… for siding with Hackett. We should have listened to you: we could have taken the fuckers out with the Einstein's cannons. I really thought sending in a ground team would be enough, I… I had no idea what we were dealing with here."

He shook his head.

"I was reckless; the cannons would have hit batarians and humans alike, Ezell. Hackett made the right choice; it wasn't your call"

The blonde woman sighed.

"Those colonists would be better off dead. Batarians are known for being ruthlessly cruel to their slave"

"They're not done for yet." he growled defensively. "We sent our ships after them. They may catch the fuckers before they are safe beyond the Attican Traverse."

He did his best to sound optimistic, but he knew their chances were pretty low. Their cruisers weren't as fast as batarian frigates. Moreover, he knew the Council would never risk open war with the Batarian Hegemony. Ezell looked at him with a hint of sadness.

 _She knows I'm talking shit,_ he thought. Nevertheless, the woman nodded slowly.

"Yeah. Maybe they will."

They both fell silent as they walked amidst the ruins of New Alford. He could only hope that the rest of Mindoir was in a better state. The small planet hosted only a handful of cities and villages, all within a few miles of each other, making it an easy target for the slavers. Moreover, he knew all too well that batarian raids were renowned for leaving no survivors behind.

 _Curse them,_ he thought, _curse them all._

* * *

A few hours later, they had reached the Southern border of New Alford; yet they'd found no survivors.

"Anderson." Ezell called, but the Lieutenant ignored her and kept pushing his way through the thick thorn bushes along the edges of the forest.

"Anderson!" She called again, and this time he turned around, looking impatient.

"I said Keep. Looking." He hissed. "There _has_ to be someone."

Ezell quickly caught up with him, grasping his arm firmly.

"We're done looking Anderson." The woman said, not unkindly. "There's no way anyone could have made it this far."

He pushed her away in anger.

"I am your superior officer, Ezell. We keep looking until I say so."

Lyanna gave him a cold, hard stare, but she ended up following him anyway. They walked deeper into the woods, until the fires consuming New Alford were out of sight. David was starting to lose hope. He was about to tell Ezell to report back to the Einstein, when she suddenly froze and grabbed his arm, her voice suddenly shrill.

"What's that?"

She pointed at a faint blue glow deep within the woods. He squinted, but they were too far away for him to see anything. He started walking frantically towards the dim azure light, until he realised the glow emanated from a tiny human silhouette.

"Stay back." He ordered, and he heard Lyanna mutter a curse. She followed his orders anyway, keeping her distances, although he could feel her concerned gaze following him.

He took a few more steps, until he could get a better visual on the human figure.

"Oh, for Christ's sake." He whispered.

Crouching at the feet of a tall pine, a small hand firmly clasped to her left side, he found a human.  
She was young, no more than 15 or 16 years old. Her short, auburn hair was all tousled, and she was covered in blood. She looked barely alive: her emerald-green eyes were heavy-lidded and vague, and her face seemed to have lost all of its colour. Her lips were parted, but no sound escaped from them.  
A tangle of corpses lay at her feet: a dark-haired middle-aged woman, a teenage girl, and four batarians.

"Ezell!" he called over his shoulder "Send our coordinates over to Hackett. Tell him we need a medic - on the double!"

The woman fumbled with her Omni-tool.

"Med Unit is on its way Anderson. ETA fifteen minutes"

He nodded in approval, and hastily made his way towards the girl.

" _STAY AWAY!"_

David startled as the girl screamed at him. He didn't expect her to be able to talk, much less to shout so damn loudly. Ezell instinctively grabbed her gun, pointing it at the girl and causing the glow of her biotics to double in intensity.

"Put your gun down." He whispered. "She's a biotic. Startle her, and we're both dead."

He turned to the girl, slowing pulling his own pistol from its sheath and letting the weapon fall to the ground; he signalled Ezell to do the same.

"I'm First Lieutenant David Anderson, I'm with the Alliance. You're safe now. We're here to help."

The light from her biotics dimmed considerably, but she kept her weary eyes on him. He was close enough now to see that blood was pouring from her flank.

"You're hurt. I need to come closer so I can help, alright?"

"You'll get hurt." She protested feebly. "They're all dead." She added, lowering her eyes to look at the corpses on the ground.

He gasped in horror as he began to understand what had happened. He knew that since the BAAT scandal, many had grown weary of the Alliance's Training Programs, and had become reluctant to report biotic children. He didn't blame them. Nevertheless, he realised how delicate the situation was: the girl obviously hadn't been fitted with an amp, meaning that she had no way to control the eezo nodules within her body. In other words, she was a time-bomb.

"Try to stay calm." He spoke softly to avoid scaring the girl. "You won't hurt us unless you panic. You can do this child. I believe in you."

The girl emitted a chocked sob.

"No." She whispered "No, no, no, _please_ , don't…"

Her body shuddered, while dark blood spurted from the hand clasped to her flank. The biotic glow disappeared, and the girl lost consciousness. Anderson fell to his knees, lifting her into his arms; he fumbled with his omni-tool, delivering a unit of Medi-Gel to the child. The bleeding stopped, but the girl remained out cold, her body suddenly shaken by violent tremors.

"Damn it, where's that med unit?"


	5. Chapter 5

"What the hell happened out there, Lieutenant?"

Anderson shook his head, slowly pacing up and down the Einstein's Med Bay. The girl was strapped to a recovery pod, an IV delivering regular units of Omega-Enkaphalin, a biotic-suppressing drug, straight into her bloodstream. Doctor Leisham had managed to patch her up nicely enough, cleaning up all the blood, soot and mud covering her face. She looked almost peaceful now, although once in a while she would toss around, and her brow would furrow in a pained expression.

"I can only guess Commander." Anderson sighed. "I don't think she meant to kill those civilians. She seemed genuinely upset about what happened."

The Commander's sharp blue eyes were fixed on the unconscious girl.

"She was never listed as a biotic?" He enquired.

"No. If she had, she would have been fitted with an L3. I can check the records, but I am pretty confident that her family never reported her: it's far from unheard of, given what happened at - "

"What happened at the BAAT was unfortunate." Hackett interrupted him. "But we cannot afford to have bunches of non-implanted biotic children scurrying around the galaxy. The Council needs to step up and start providing better support for biotic humans."

"What will become of the girl, Commander?" Anderson inquired.

He was worried about the fate of the survivor. Although it had likely been an accident, the girl's biotics had killed two civilians. She could end up in juvenile, if she was found guilty by a Systems Alliance jury. Given the circumstances, she probably wouldn't need to serve too much time, but her incarceration would be a permanent stain on her record. Moreover, David was hoping she wouldn't have to go through a trial: she had already suffered enough.

He felt Hackett's piercing gaze on him, and did his best to maintain eye contact.

"Amanda." the Commander called into his earpiece.

A few moments later, the doctor joined them into the Med Bay. She was a middle-aged woman, older than Anderson. Her face was kind, but tired: she hadn't slept since they landed on Mindoir, for she was too busy tending to the wounded soldiers in the field.

"Can you wake her up?" Hackett asked; Amanda Leisham nodded.

"Will she be in pain?"

The Commander's voice sounded concerned.

"She was gut-shot." Amanda answered simply. "I'm expecting there will be pain, later. However, at the moment, she is under a potent mix of painkillers. So, she won't be in pain, no."

Hackett nodded, and the Doctor fumbled with the recovery pod's display. A few minutes passed before the young girl's limbs started twitching slightly, her green eyes opening slowly, blinded by the bright lights in the Med Bay. Anderson noticed that her heartbeat was increasing on the monitor, as the survivor slowly began to take in her surroundings.

"Easy…" Anderson tried to speak as soothingly as he could "Don't be scared now. You're safe; you can't hurt us. See that IV? It's going to suppress your biotics, just for a little while."

She lifted her arm, slowly, her wide green eyes examining the tip of the IV that dug into her porcelain skin. She looked at Anderson again, and seemed to recognise him.

"Where's Sam?" She asked at once.

The girl's voice was thick, her speech slurred by the painkillers and anaesthetics in her bloodstream. _At least she's not in pain,_ Anderson thought.

"Who's Sam, sweetheart?" He asked gently.

"She's my sister. She's got brown hair, eyes same as mine. She… She…" The girl's eyes widened in terror, her eyebrows furrowing in a pained expression. "She's gone. Her, and mom too, I… Sam, I'm _so_ sorry."

She started sobbing quietly as Anderson and Hackett exchanged a concerned look.

"What happened out there, child?" Hackett asked, not unkindly. The girl looked at him with fear; she tried to move, but the recovery pod's straps held her down.

"Let me go." She croaked "What will you do with me? Why am I tied up?"

"It's for your own good." Amanda explained, her voice soothing. "You were in pretty bad shape and I had to stitch you up. You're gonna have to lay still for a little longer, while your body heals."

"Bullshit." The kid hissed "You're going to lock me up, aren't you? In some freak camp? I don't even care… I killed them, I deserve to die."

She turned to Anderson, her gaze angry and hard.

"You should have left me to die." Her voice broke, and suddenly she was screaming, trying to get out of her restraints. She was glowing again, although very faintly, despite the effects of the IV.

 _Her resolve must be quite unique_ , Anderson thought.

Amanda ran towards the pod's display and pressed a few buttons on her Omni-Tool; the IV started dripping a little quicker, and a few seconds later the girl was sleeping again, tears still streaking her cheeks.

"Thank you, Amanda. I've heard quite enough." Hackett decided, turning around sharply and leaving the Med Bay.

Anderson sighed, and followed the Commander.

* * *

"So, what will it be?" The Lieutenant asked once they were safely out of earshot.

Hackett sat behind his desk, a datapad on his lap. The Commander needed to send his report to both the Alliance and the Council, and Anderson knew the girl's fate depended on said report.

"The girl is dangerous." Hackett muttered, his expression grave. "She could activate her biotics despite the O-E, which is unusual for an asari, let alone an untrained farming girl."

"She didn't ask for it Commander." Anderson protested vigorously "She is only a child, and she just went through hell. I am begging you, consider her well-being: I don't think she could handle any more hardship. I will take full responsibility should she become a danger or a liability to – "

"You will do as I command, Anderson!"

The Lieutenant winced, but he wouldn't let this go.

"Commander. I need to know that she'll be safe."

Hackett gave him a long, hard stare. Anderson knew he was overstepping his boundaries, but he refused to step down. After a few long minutes, the Commander's eyes softened.

"You've always been a right pain in my ass, Anderson, do you know that?"

David didn't flinch.

"I guess I could… omit a few details in my report." The Commander continued, a hint of a smile stretching his lips. "Just pray that the girl doesn't murder us all in our sleep tonight."

* * *

 **Author's note:**

* * *

Yay, new chapter! :)

Just to clarify, the drug that's being administered to Aemilia is Omega-Enkaphalin (or O-E). According to the wiki, it is a potent, though temporary, biotic-suppressing drug. The wiki also states that it was secretly developed by Cerberus, but for narrative purposes I ignored that detail!

Also, since those events occur in the past, I assumed Hackett would still be a Commander (as opposed to Admiral); likewise, Anderson is not yet a Captain, but a First Lieutenant. Hope this isn't too confusing!

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed!


	6. Chapter 6

Two days had passed, and the girl hadn't murdered anyone quite yet. Anderson took that as a small victory.

Dr. Leisham had strictly forbidden anyone to go near her new patient, which was probably for the best. She told him she'd awaken the girl a few times, and every time she seemed a little better. As a military doctor, Amanda was trained to deal with shock and emotional scarring as well as physical trauma, and David knew she was one of the best.

Although he wasn't allowed to visit or talk to the kid, Leisham had been kind enough to keep him updated regularly on her progress. She still hadn't been able to get a name out of the girl; the poor thing kept going on and on about her deceased family, but never mentioned her own name; it was as if she wanted to forget who and what she was. She had mentioned both her parents, Arthur and Christa, on several occasions. However, it was her sister's name that kept coming up over and over again; her name was Samantha, and she looked like their mother. Anderson shivered at the thought: he'd seen the girl lying dead on the cold hard ground, her slender arms still clutching her mother's corpse.

"The girl's not doing so well tonight." Amanda told him one evening as she exited the med bay. "She closed up, and won't talk to me. Perhaps you should speak to her."

"Do you think that's a good idea?" He inquired.

Amanda shrugged.

"Well, it's the only one I've got."

* * *

He took a long, deep breath before entering the Med Bay. The lights had been dimmed to create a more relaxing environment, and he was pleased to see that the girl wasn't strapped to her pod anymore. She was now wearing a clean white gown instead of her dirty rags; her hair had been washed, and the bloody wound on her brow was beginning to heal. She was sitting up in her bed, another sign that she was making a steady recovery. The girl raised her head when he came in, emerald eyes staring at him from across the dimly-lit room. She made him uneasy, but he forced himself to smile back as he grabbed a chair, dragging it next to the recovery pod.

"Hey there, child." He began tentatively. "Remember me?"

The girl nodded slowly, but remained silent.

"Doc said you're upset. Is something bothering you?"

She looked up at him for a few long minutes, as if trying to decide whether she could trust him or not. For a moment, Anderson thought she was going to close up again. But then she decided to speak.

"Are you with the Alliance?" She asked. Her voice was more assured than it had been a few days ago, he noticed; the sheer terror in her eyes was almost gone too, although she still seemed somewhat weary.

"Yes. Every man and woman on this ship is under Alliance command: even Amanda." Anderson replied. "This is the SSV Einstein, a carrier ship belonging to the Fifth Fleet."

"Mom said the Alliance would send me to brain camp." She muttered under her breath. "Said they'd run tests on me, dissect me like some sort of lab rat."

Anderson shook his head.

"No one is going to dissect you, child; you have my word."

"I don't care what happens to me, just… If they're going to make me suffer, I'd rather you killed me now."

The girl slouched against her pillows, hugging her knees tightly. The look of resignation on her face made his heart sink: she was only a kid, but she was ready to die, there and then. He had hoped Amanda had made her better by now, but he realised he'd been far too optimistic. The child had been through hell and back, it would take time for her to heal emotionally.

"Nobody is going to kill you, sweetheart."

He leaned over and carefully placed a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"It is true that the Alliance was funding a programme for biotics: they called it Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training. The idea was to help young people like you learn how to develop and use their talents, so we could learn more about biotics. Although the Alliance was providing support, the programme was run by a company called Conatix Industries.  
But our understanding of biotics is still very limited, and progress was slow. Conatix should have turned to the asari Matriarchs and asked for their help; but they were afraid. They thought it would make humanity look weak. Unbeknownst to both the Alliance and the Council, Conatix started hiring violent turian mercenaries to… encourage the kids to train harder. A lot of them died under the turians' new regime; in the end, there was a revolt. Most of the turians were killed, and the facility was shut down."

The girl kept silent, but her green eyes were now a little less wild, and her breathing was more regular.

"We've learned from our mistakes." Anderson concluded. "The Alliance has taken the training of young biotics into its own hands. We are not afraid to ask for help: we are currently employing a handful of asari, each one of them overseeing their own training facility. It's all done according to protocol, and the children are not harmed at any stage of the process."

"Is that where you're sending me?" The girl finally asked.

"We're taking you to Arcturus station first. At this stage, your unshackled powers are a threat to everyone, including yourself. You'll get fitted with an implant; it will help you control your biotics. You will need to stay with us for a few weeks to ensure the implantation was successful and learn the basics. After that…"

"You are a minor, and have no family; you are now under the care of the Alliance." Commander Hackett interrupted; he had just entered the room, sitting himself on the doctor's chair behind the desk. "We operate several institutes for young people like you; most of them end up joining the military when they come of age. Should you choose to continue your biotic training, you will remain on Arcturus a little while longer. We'll need to evaluate your capacities and place you within an appropriate training unit."

Anderson observed the girl's reaction. She seemed wearier of Hackett, as if she was still trying to judge whether he was trustworthy or not. Her gaze turned to him.

"Will _you_ be on Arcturus station?" She asked rather hopefully.

"I am a Lieutenant with the Alliance military, child; that means I'm often away on missions." The girl's face was sad again. "However… When not on active duty, I will be stationed there, yes."

"So what will it be, girl?" Asked the Commander, a hint of impatience in his voice.

"I'll… I'll stay. At Arcturus. I want to train."

The Commander's bright blue eyes softened a little; he gave a curt nod, and Anderson could have sworn he saw the Commander smile for a second.

"Very well. Anderson, you will accompany our guest and remain stationed on Arcturus for a few weeks. You are _clearly_ too shaken by what you saw on Mindoir and cannot resume service for a while; I will file a report straight away."

David smiled. The Commander was a gruff but kind-hearted man, and had just given him the possibility to offer the girl some much needed comfort and stability, if only for a few weeks. The child seemed as pleased as he was.

"Yes, Sir. Thank you, Sir." Anderson replied.

The Commander nodded and stood up. He was almost at the door when he turned around as if he'd forgotten something.

"Do you have a name, child?" He enquired.

"It's Aemilia. Aemilia Shepard, Sir."


	7. Chapter 7

She eyes the other recruits wearily. Apparently the Alliance kept their trainees in separate classes according to their gender, and she suddenly found herself surrounded by a bunch of noisy young girls. It made her uneasy. She herself had never been the girly type, and back on Mindoir the few friends she had had been boys. Boys were easy; girls were complicated, and so damn noisy. She tried her best to appear friendly and unthreatening, but judging by how nobody had dared approach her yet, she wasn't doing a very good job. Suddenly, she missed the cosy, quiet apartment on Arcturus station that Anderson had been renting for her for the past two years.

After making a full recovery from her ordeal on Mindoir, she was fitted with an L3 implant that would help keep her biotics in check. They tested her abilities for a whole week after that. Anderson had been thoroughly impressed by what she could do, and suggested she trained with the asari on Thessia. But Hackett refused, stating that they weren't just going to hand such talent over to the aliens. Human biotics were still relatively rare, and while Shepard understood the Commander's decision, she couldn't help but resent him. Because of him, she was now stood amidst a bunch of cackling teenagers as opposed to wise asari Matriarchs.

They arrived just the night before, yet after their morning drill they were called upon for their first day of proper training. Their instructor, Sergeant Deere, was a balding middle-aged man with cold grey eyes and a solemn expression. He was gruff and to-the-point, as one would expect from an Alliance sergeant, but he was not unkind; he reminded her of Hackett. The new recruits eagerly followed him across the station, the girls exchanging excited murmurs while Shepard remained silent. They finally arrived at a huge training arena. The images on the holographic walls all around them depicted a war zone in what looked like some alien desert; as they moved closer to the arena, Shepard felt like she really was on some god forsaken planet. She noticed the area had been arranged to form some sort of obstacle course consisting of several rooms, which made her weary. Although she had displayed a certain talent with biotics, she doubted she had it in her to become a real soldier. Yet there she was, standing at attention while their instructor briefed them.

"The most important thing, when you're in the field, isn't how good your biotics are. I don't care what you've been told. You may be as powerful as a Matriarch, or strong as a krogan, but let me tell you this: the moment you run off on your own seeking glory on the battlefield, you're as good as dead.  
The most important thing, when you're facing a bunch of pissed-off krogans or hungry thresher maws, is the people watching your back. I don't care how good you are with a gun, or how easily you could lift a boulder to crush said krogans, working well with your squad is what gets you out alive.  
Teamwork, ladies. Now pair up and form an orderly line; the goal of today's exercise is learning to work together."

There were shuffling noises as the girls formed pairs and went to stand in line patiently. Shepard looked around her, uneasy, all too aware that she was one of the few girls without a partner.

"Hey."

A voice rang behind her, thick with an accent that Shepard didn't recognise.

"Need a partner?"

Shepard nodded slowly.  
The girl facing her was a tall and lean youth, with short-cropped blonde hair that looked almost white. Her looks where quite androgynous, her arms muscular and her eyes a deep shade of blue. She already looked like a soldier; next to her, Shepard looked almost a child, with her big green eyes and short stature.

"Do you have a name?" The other girl asked impatiently as they waited their turn to tackle the course.

"Shepard."

"Irina Tanner. Call me Ira." The woman stretched her arms over her head, getting ready for their turn. "Looks like we're up."

A whistle blew, and Ira lunged forward with feline grace and speed. Shepard followed in closely, glancing all around her, scanning their surroundings. Just ahead, a group of mechs carrying assault rifles was approaching menacingly.

"Get to cover!" Shepard shouted over the sound of gunfire, but Tanner was a step ahead of her and was already ducking behind a huge boulder.

"You're slow." The blond girl commented as Shepard knelt next to her, occasionally leaning out of cover to take a better look at the enemy. Her body glowed blue as she unleashed her biotics, warping a few mechs that had come dangerously close to them. She waited a few seconds to recharge, then slammed hard into them with a Nova attack. The holographic mechs exploded in a burst of bright light.

"Not bad." She heard Tanner comment behind her. "But can you do this?"

The tall girl swirled around as if dancing, and threw a perfectly well aimed Singularity in the midst of their opponents. The mechs were lifted off their feet for a few seconds, before disappearing in another burst of light.

"Hell yeah!" Irina shouted, admiring her handywork.

"They're flanking us!" Shepard remarked dryly.

They'd been so preoccupied with showing off their skills to one another they'd left their flank unguarded. Mechs came pouring in from around the corner, and Shepard had to give some ground to avoid getting shot down. In a panic, she let a Shockwave loose; she managed to knock a few mechs off, but there were too many of them. She glanced at Tanner, who didn't look worried in the slightest.

"Watch and learn."

Ira warped one of the mechs closest to her. A heartbeat later, she unleashed a Throw; the mech was thrown back a few meters, then exploded violently, taking down most of the others in a single sweep.

"Show-off." Shepard remarked, but she was glad Ira managed to get rid of them, allowing the two girls to progress further up the course along a tight corridor. They were, however, forced to come to a stop a few minutes later; a heavy metal door stood in their way. Shepard approached the holographic lock, turning on her omni-tool to hack the locking device.

"Gel it." Irina ordered impatiently. Shepard shook her head, her eyes fixed on the lock.

"I am not wasting omni-gel until it's necessary. There are no enemies around us right now, which means I have all the time in the world to decrypt the lock."

"Guess again." Ira commented. Shepard glanced at the arena over her shoulder, and moaned as she saw a bunch of holographic drones approaching rather quickly. "You better hurry."

The blonde girl grabbed the pistol at her waist and started providing cover fire while Shepard fumbled with her damned omni-tool. Aemilia had never been very good with tech; back on Mindoir, she led a farming lifestyle, and the colony was relatively poor, which means she'd only really ever been exposed to advanced tech after reaching Arcturus Station.

"Come on... Stupid machine! Almost there…" Shepard muttered to herself as Ira let out a loud, sarcastic yawning noise while happily gunning down the last drone.

Finally, the lock gave in and the door slid open, revealing a small, walled area with a ridiculously limited amount of cover. Carefully, she knelt behind a metal crate as she scanned her surroundings. The room was empty, save for a small cube that stood right in the middle of it. As soon as the door behind them slammed itself shut, the cube started to make a hissing noise as its size grew exponentially. A few seconds later, the harmless cube had grown into a huge YMIR-type mech.

"Marvelous." Shepard commented dryly.

"Scared, Shepard?" Scoffed Ira, who had already grabbed a shotgun and fired a precise shot towards the mech.

"Watch and learn." Aemilia muttered.

She had grown tired of the other woman's teasing, and was determined to give her a lesson in humility. She leaned out of cover to warp the humongous mech a couple of times to lower its defenses. She then grabbed her pistol and fired a single shot, her biotics still flaring. The bullet was glowing too as she directed it in an arch over the mech, then straight down towards its core. There was a bright flash of light as the cube within the YMIR exploded, then the mech itself blew up in a loud detonation that threw both girls backwards several meters. Debris flew across the room, and a piece of metal hit Shepard on the cheek, leaving a trail of blood where the skin had split.

"Are you insane? You could have killed us both!" Ira shouted, visibly irritated.

"I took down the damn thing, didn't I? I bet we'll get extra points for completing the task quicker than anyone else!"

The idea of getting extra points seemed to appease Irina, who offered Shepard her hand before helping her up.

"You're bleeding quite profusely." Ira observed calmly. "That's going to leave a scar."

Aemilia shrugged as they exited the course.

"Shepard!" Deere shouted as he hurried towards them. He looked furious, which caused the two girls to exchange a concerned look.

"I should kick you right out for damaging Alliance property! Damn it, do you know how much those mechs cost? You were supposed to knock it down, not blow it to fucking smithereens!"

"Yes, sir! Sorry, sir!" Aemilia stood at attention as the Sergeant glowered at her. A few seconds later, his expression softened slightly as he grabbed the datapad with their scores on it.

"As far as teamwork goes, I've seen better; you get a B. Not bad, but you spent more time teasing the shit out of each other than you did focusing on the task.  
Technique was…admirable. Tanner, you're as good with a gun as most commanding officers I know. Shepard… good job with that YMIR. I have never seen anyone take that route; then again, controlling a fast-flying, tiny-ass bullet isn't something a lot of trainees could do. You both get an A. Now scurry off; you have thirty minutes to recover and get yourselves stitched up, then make your way down to shooting practice."

"Yes, Sir!" The girls responded in unison.


	8. Chapter 8

"Ha! Four of a kind! Screw you, Shepard!" Irina shouted happily, her speech slurred by the copious amount of vodka she'd been downing.

"Are you fucking kidding me?"

Aemilia frowned in despair, lunging towards Ira to grab her cards. "You lucky motherfucker." Shepard commented as she laid Ira's cards on the table for everyone to see. Across the table, Leo whistled as Aemilia slammed her head on the table.

"Not your day, Shep." He commented, his dark brown eyes sparkling with amusement. He younger than the others by several months, though his tall and imposing physique made his appear older than he actually was. He was a skilled infiltrator, deadly with a sniper and incredibly resourceful on the battlefield.

"Shut it Gilham." Shepard hissed, glancing at the now very small pile of credits in front of her.

They had been partying it up since earlier this evening, to celebrate their recent graduation from the N6 course. In a few days, they would be sent on their first real combat mission, an all-out attack on the moon of Torfan to repel the batarians from Council space once and for all. They all hoped to shine on the battlefield and gain their N7 designation.

"Finally! I was getting bored being the only one out." Quinn Dowler laughed before downing yet another beer in a few gulps. The young engineer was as good with tech as he was bad at cards, and had lost all of his credits in just a few hands.

"I'm not out yet Dowler! I have a feeling the next hand's gonna be a good one!" Shepard replied while signalling the barman for another round of drinks.

"In your dreams, Shep." Irina mocked. "Gilham, you'll be done for soon enough too. This is between me and Bentley."

As much as Shepard didn't want to lose the few credits she had left, she knew her friend was right. Gilham and herself had only maybe 100 credits between them, while Tanner and Bentley's coins were stacked high in front of them. Jamie Bentley was a quiet Londoner, the only Earth-born among them. His British accent charmed all the ladies, human and alien alike, although Shepard knew he had eyes only for Irina. The blonde girl must have known, as the infatuation was clear on his face whenever he looked at her. However, a relationship could have ended their budding military careers, and as far as Shepard knew there had never been anything between them except a few stolen glances.

"You're on, Tanner. Don't think I'll go easy on you!" Jamie commented.

Half an hour later, Shepard was twice as drunk as thrice as poor. Irina, on the other hand, won the game, although Aemilia wondered whether Jamie let her win. With credits overflowing from her pockets, Ira stumbled to the bar to pay for the next couple of rounds.

"So, batarians." Quinn started as he turned around to face Aemilia. "I bet you'll have a jolly good time kicking those bastards into the dirt Shepard. After what happened on Mindoir, I mean."

Aemilia nodded slowly, suddenly lost in thought. Sure, when Anderson briefed them on the mission, she'd felt a surge of perverse delight at the idea of freely putting down a bunch of batarian slavers. However, as the mission grew closer, apprehension started to creep in. She hadn't even seen a batarian since the traumatizing events of Mindoir. She didn't know how she would react when faced with a whole bunch of them. What if the mere sight of one would paralyze her with fear? What if she ended up letting Anderson down? She sighed heavily as doubts gnawed at her.

"Hey." Quinn called, the sound of his voice bringing her back to reality.

"I'm sorry; I may have had a few too many drinks."

"You'll do just fine." He assured her with a smile. Shepard nodded slowly, gaining a little confidence. The engineer put a hand on her shoulder in a reassuring gesture. The two of them became rather close friends while serving on Amaranthine as part of the N4 course. The mission consisted in extirpating some red sand dealers out of the holes they'd bunkered themselves into, and Quinn's engineering skills proved invaluable in accessing the dealers' underground bunkers.

"It's just... Leading my own unit? I don't know Dowler; I don't think I like having lives depending on me."

"Shep." Ira interrupted, bringing a tray full of cocktails and shots. "Anderson wants to groom you for command; can't you be fucking happy about it?".

"You'll be calling the shots, but we'll be right behind you in case you fuck up majorly." Gilham added with a grin.

"To victory!" Ira called as the five of them raised their glasses.

"To victory!" They all echoed at once.

* * *

On their scheduled departure day, Anderson summoned her to his quarters on Arcturus. Shepard was a nervous wreck, but she made her way to the residential areas of the huge space station nonetheless. When she reached Anderson's apartment, she held her omni-tool against the door; the small red light flashed green, and the doors slid open smoothly to let her in.

The place was rather small, compared to the apartment Anderson owned on the Citadel, and Shepard knew it well enough to reach the Captain's office in a few seconds. She found him sat behind his desk, surrounded by datapads and coffee mugs. When he saw her, he nodded briefly, a tired smile on his lips. Shepard saluted and stood at attention.

"At ease, Shepard. You don't need to salute me every damn time you see me."

"Actually sir, according to Alliance regs, I do."

Anderson chuckled and shook his head, and Shepard offered a smile.

"How do you feel?" He asked. "Ready for the mission?"

Shepard hesitated, thinking long and hard about what she was going to say before she opened her mouth.

"Yes sir. However… You put me in command of a whole unit; a unit that comprises several friends of mine. I am honoured beyond words, but… Frankly, I don't want their lives hanging on me... Sir."

She knew her reply was pathetic; those were the words of a scared little girl, not an accomplished N6 marine. If Anderson noticed, however, he made no mention of it. Instead, he stood up and came to stand in front of her.

"It's okay to be scared shitless, Shepard. Hell, I was unable to sleep for almost a week after receiving my first command." His voice had a fatherly reassurance to it that made Shepard relax a little.

"I was afraid. Afraid I would let my squad down; afraid some of them may die under my command. But as much as I didn't like it, I soon realised that the most important thing wasn't the safety of my men; it was the success of the mission."

She furrowed her brow, but Anderson raised his hand, and she remained silent.

"Shepard, I expect you'll make N7 soon enough. You'll be sent on perilous missions that most marines wouldn't go on if they were offered a billion credits and unlimited access to the Consort's chambers. You'll be faced with dire situations; more often than not, a mission failure will result in death for you and all of your men. Sometimes you have to put your faith in the chain of command and follow your orders. Do you understand?"

"Yes, sir."

Shepard nodded, trying to look assured despite the fact that her voice was barely a whisper. She had undergone many years of brutal training, during which she'd seen men and women die before her very eyes. Soon she learned that death was always easier to stomach when it was a stranger losing his life rather than a friend. So she stuck to the toughest bastards out there, and went to great lengths to only befriend the strong ones, the ones she knew had the best chances of survival. Only four made the cut; Irina, Quinn, Jamie and Leo. Together, they fought twice as hard to protect the more fragile soldiers; they'd been through thick and thin, surviving where others perished, and climbed all the way to the top, scathed and scarred but alive.

And now, the brass had chosen to put their lives in her hands; to force her to break the one rule that kept her sane during all those years. Her voice broke a little as she held back tears.

"I understand, sir, but… I don't know. I don't know if I have it in me to send them to their deaths if the mission requires it. They're… they're my _friends_ , Anderson."

"And they are counting on you to see the mission through." The Captain declared solemnly. His expression softened a little as he gave Shepard a brief but tight hug; she exhaled slowly in the reassuring embrace. As they parted, he looked her in the eyes, looking like a proud father at his daughter's graduation.

"You've done so well, Shepard. You can do this child; I'm proud of you."

Aemilia nodded slowly.

"Thank you, sir. For everything."

* * *

 **Author's note:**

* * *

I hope you enjoyed this chapter!

In case anyone was wondering, the gang was playing poker at the beginning. Four of a kind is an incredibly good hand; it basically means having (between your hand and the table) 4 of the same cards - each deck only has 4 of each kind, so you can see why Ira would have been very lucky :).


	9. Chapter 9

On board the SSV Manila, Shepard fumbled with her gear as they approached their designated LZ. Several frigates already touched down on the small moon's surface, deploying teams of engineers and several Mako units to tear through the enemy's defences. The Alliance's firepower had proven much superior to the batarians'; it didn't take long for the aliens to retreat underground to the strongholds they built to withstand air raids.

"Soldiers!" Major Kyle, their commanding officer, called as they all assembled in the hangar. "The ETA to LZ is about fifteen minutes. Our engineers successfully destroyed the enemy's first line of defence; it is up to you to do the rest."

He paused for a few seconds as a holographic depiction of Torfan appeared from his omni-tool.

"The batarians retreated to their underground bunkers." He went on as several areas lit up on the holographic map.

"The tunnels run for several kilometres, towards the East and West. Batarian forces are concentrated mainly in the South-East chambers. You have been separated into small units to infiltrate the strongholds and kill the sons o' bitches.  
Shepard will lead the vanguard. We won't be taking prisoners tonight soldiers; if we want the batarian slavers out of Citadel space, we have to show them who's boss."

Excited cries filled the hangar. Elysium was still a fresh wound for many, and they were eager to take revenge. Shepard couldn't help being filled with the very same excitement, except her own eagerness stemmed from her childhood on Mindoir and everyone she lost back in 2170.

After making a slow recovery back on Arcturus, she forced herself to forget about what happened on Mindoir; and she had. For almost a decade she didn't know what her mother looked like, what her father sounded like. She forgot how soft Sam's hair felt under her touch, and how nice it always smelled. But as the Manila approached Torfan, she allowed all of her memories to come rushing in, and her body shivered all over as she _remembered_.

With renewed strength, she boarded the shuttles along with her unit; it consisted of twenty-five men and women of all talents, including engineers, infiltrators and biotic adepts. All of them strangers, all of them expendable, except for the four sat in front of her; those were her _friends_. She shook her head slowly as she remembered Anderson's words.

 _Everyone here is expendable._ She thought. _Me_ , _Ira, Quinn, Leo, Jamie._ _The mission is all that matters_. _The mission is all that matters. The mission…_

* * *

She repeated the words like a mantra until the shuttle hit planet side and they disembarked. Before she knew it, they were marching along dark underground tunnels, lit only by the dim light of their torches. Leo left with the other infiltrators; they would access the underground vaults through a handful of small abandoned tunnels. On the other hand, the vanguard, led by Shepard, entered the tunnels via the main entrance while being as noisy as possible to distract the batarians away from the infiltration team.

"They won't know what hit them!" Ira commented scornfully, making her way behind Shepard.

"Quinn, what's our status?" Aemilia asked the engineer.

"We're only a few metres away from the vault. Thermal scans from our intel show the batarians are bunkered in there."

"We'll smear the walls with them." Jamie smirked in the semi-darkness.

When they reached the vault's entrance, Aemilia raised a fisted hand to signal her unit to come to a halt. The locked door was encased in a thick sheet of metal, but a few explosives would take care of it. She made an impatient gesture at Quinn, who shot out an explosive grenade from his omni-tool. Ira then quickly erected a biotic barrier to prevent the explosion from harming them. Shepard could feel the excitement growing inside her; she had no way of knowing whether the batarians inside the vault took part in the raid of Mindoir or not, but she'd stopped caring. All she knew was that every single one of them was going to die screaming, and revenge would be sweet.

Finally, the grenade blew up, and the heavy metal door disintegrated before them with a loud bang. They started shooting blindly through the smoke, unwilling to waste time waiting for it to disperse. Shepard was on a roll, high on adrenaline, her assault rifle spewing bullets at incredibly fast speed through the thinning smoke. Excited as she was, it took her a few moments to realise that something was off. The room was silent, except for the noise from her unit's assault. She could hear no screaming, no cursing, no bodies falling to the floor.

"HOLD BACK!" She shouted in a panic.

Her men obliged. The smoke finally dispersed, and what she saw left her speechless.  
A pile of bodies lay scattered across the room; they were all badly burned, suggesting that they died from the explosion rather than her unit's bullets. They were all batarians, she noticed, but their bodies were thin and small.

"No…no… shit, please, no…"

She rushed to one of the corpses that lay on the ground and held it in her arms. It was a child, a girl of no more than six or seven according to what little she knew of batarian biology. Her body was bloody and badly burned.

"There were no slaves here, the brass was dead set on it! We were given orders to not hold back because there would be no civilians to rescue! Are you fucking kidding me?" She let out an angry moan as Jamie rushed to her.

"The Alliance knows only of slaves from Council space, where abductions and raids are reported." He tried to comfort her. "Those kids were probably stolen from some godforsaken planet in the Terminus systems. There's no way the brass could have known…"

"It's their job to know." She hissed angrily. "Oh, fuck this!"

Quinn grabbed a hold of her arm, but she snatched it away furiously.

"Shepard, listen. This is bad."

Aemilia forced herself to calm down and turned around to face Dowler. He looked genuinely scared, which was rather unusual for the calm, calculating engineer. His blue eyes were fixed on his omni-tool, as he tapped rapidly on the device's display.

"The thermal readings from earlier are all wrong." He muttered. "Maybe our intel was wrong, maybe they lied, I don't know, but… We're close enough for our own readings and… Shepard, they're everywhere; we're outnumbered three to one at the very least."

"Damn it!" She cursed under her breath as she fumbled with her omni-tool.

"Gilham, what's your status?"

There was no answer.

"Gilham? Gilham! Damn it Leo, do you copy? We need those infiltration teams, on the double!"

"He's gone Shepard." Quinn cut her short. "Captured, or worse. For all we know, the batarians knew about this all along and set up a trap."

She knew he was right. Panicked, she tried contacting various frequencies to find someone, _anyone_ who could tell her what was going on above ground. Finally, someone picked up. The batarians must have been interfering with their comms, for she could barely make out what the voice on the other end was saying.

" _Batarian turrets… Ambush… Taking hea…vy fire. Ei…percent KIA… Repeat… Eighty percent KIA."_

"Shit Shepard! We need to get out, now!" Quinn exclaimed.

"No." The sound of her own voice surprised her; it was deep, hoarse and somewhat shaky. "We can't run. We can't let them escape. The children…"

"If we stay here we'll die!"

Quinn's voice was louder now, and Shepard could see the sheer terror in his eyes. He was young, too young to die; they all were. Suddenly she found it hard to breathe, the knot in her belly growing tighter and heavier, compressing her lungs and leaving her gasping for air.

"Then we'll die making sure no child in Citadel space will know the horrors of a batarian raid." She replied coldly, her eyes somewhat vague.

"Shepard I know the shit you've been through, but this… this is madness. We'll be massacred."

Before he could say anything else, Ira interrupted the engineer, grabbing him by the collar and keeping him pinned to the wall with her biotics.

"You've heard the woman. We're moving out, soldier! NOW!"

Quinn locked eyes with her angrily, but eventually he nodded and Irina let him go.

"We're going in soldiers!" Shepard announced while grabbing her rifle. "Make every bullet count."


	10. Chapter 10

She didn't know where she was, how long she'd been there for, or why she was still alive. All the tunnels in this damned hellhole looked the same, and without Quinn's detailed maps she quickly lost her way. The air smelled of blood and smoke, and burned her lungs with every breath she took. She limped towards the closest wall and let herself fall to the ground, exhausted, to check on her battered body.

Part of her armor had been blown off by a grenade, leaving her left flank bloody and exposed. She applied her last unit of medi-gel on it hours ago, but the bleeding resumed every time she stretched the wound too much. She was still high on stimulants, her body shaking slightly from the adrenaline. She wondered if taking the pills had been a good idea. Sure, they kept her fighting; but she was tired of fighting, tired of hanging on to dear life just to make it through yet another fucking tunnel. Part of her wished she could just lie down and let herself die. What was she fighting for, anyway? The past twelve hours were a blur, but she remembered seeing her friends fall all around her. One by one, she lost them all.

She assumed Leo and his infiltrators died when the batarians started collapsing the tunnels. Later, she lost Quinn to the third horde of batarians they encountered; she had to watch in horror as the same grenade that damaged her armor blew him and a few others to bits, showering her unit in blood. She cried and kicked and screamed until Irina had to forcefully drag her away from what little remained of their comrade's body to tend to the gaping wound on her chest. After losing so many, an explosive bloodlust took over Shepard, and she fought like a madman, cutting through the batarians like butter; those who surrendered where stripped off their armors and beaten to a pulp, their corpses forming a bloody trail. She had no more tears, and no more mercy.

Ira had died just a few hours ago. Only a handful of them were left; they led an all-out frontal attack on one of the last batarian platoons. The enemy greatly outnumbered them, but her unit's spirits were somewhat lifted by the fact they had survived for so long against all odds. She led them into yet another fight, crashing hard into the batarians in a rapid succession of Nova attacks and biotic charges. Shepard never saw the sniper that took Jamie down; her friend came crashing down, a trickle of blood pouring from the gaping wound on his forehead. Irina saw it too, and she turned her head, ever so slightly, losing her focus for just a split second. It was enough for a batarian soldier to jump her, burying his omni-blade deep in her chest. Shepard screamed and rained bullets on the alien; his lifeless corpse fell on top of Ira, his blade still stuck in her body. After the last aliens were taken down, at the cost of nearly every single one of her squad mates, Shepard used what little strength she had left to drag Ira's body from underneath the batarian and lay her next to Jamie instead.

After that, Shepard lost her will to fight. If it wasn't for the handful of surviving men and women behind her, she may have taken her own life and put an end to the nightmare once and for all. But they forced her to keep moving, to keep living. She was their best chance of getting out of there alive, and she knew it; so she kept on fighting, until the blood loss from the grenade was too much and she let herself collapse against the wall. The rest of her unit was just as battered; it was all they could do to sit in the darkness and hope that an evac unit would find them eventually.

* * *

Several long hours passed when her radio finally received a signal. She raised her omni-tool to accept the call, grimacing as the tiny gesture pulled on her open wound causing blood to pour out.

"Shepard? Damn it, Shepard, is that you?" A familiar voice called out.

"Sergeant… Deere?" Her voice was thin and shaky.

"It's good to hear you, kid. We've got a med unit locked into your coordinates, they're coming your way. Just hang tight."

"Yes sir. Thank you, sir."

She let out a shaky breath as she allowed herself to relax a little. All around her, her squad mates exchanged excited murmurs. A young corporal made her way to Shepard and fell to her knees, hugging Aemilia as tightly as she dared.

"We're… alive, ma'am. We didn't… I just… Thank you."

"You did a good job corporal. We were lucky to have you."

Shepard tried to sound as positive as she could. She couldn't help but feel like they still endured a burning defeat. She fought to hold back her tears as the evac team lifted her on a stretcher. That day, they made sure no batarian would leave Torfan alive, but at what cost?

* * *

When Anderson saw Shepard again, she seemed a different woman altogether. Her once bright green eyes appeared dim, and a persistent pained expression distorted her features, making her look older than she actually was. He told himself that it was likely just the aftermath of Torfan. After all, it'd only been a few days since Shepard came back; she probably just needed time to recover. He kept telling himself that, when she did, she would be back to her old self. She had to.

"What else do you want me to say Anderson?" She asked him sourly, restlessly pacing up and down her room at Huerta Memorial Hospital. "I've already told the brass many times. We got in, took the fuckers out, no more batarians in Council space, and everyone lived happily ever fucking after."

"Shepard, don't give me that." He frowned. "You know the brass needs a detailed report of what happened. As the only surviving squad leader, it is your duty to-"

"With all due respect, sir, I don't give a shit about duty." She cut him short, each word spitted out like venom.

Anderson gave her a long hard stare, but for once he found himself at a loss for words.

"Do you expect me to tell them how I got my unit decimated?" Shepard continued. "How I could have saved them all but I didn't, because I was too preoccupied with getting revenge on the batarians? Or have you come to relieve me of my duty? There's no way I'm making N7 now, right?"

"Actually…" He began, wording his next words carefully. "What you achieved on Torfan was incredible. The batarians have retreated from Council space and abandoned all their outposts on the Skyllian Verge. Shepard, we've been warring with the batarians for _decades_. Now it's starting to look like they won't be a problem anymore; you scared them shitless."

"What are you saying?" Shepard looked genuinely confused; she eyed him suspiciously.

"Shepard… The Alliance, they… They're going to make you an N7, and promote you to the rank of Executive Officer."

The girl was starstruck.

"Oh, that is a fucking joke!" She half-shouted with a maniacal laugh as she slammed her fist into the wall, hard. "Trust the Alliance to decorate the huge screw-up who got all of their most promising N6 agents killed in action."

"Listen to me. You're right; you could have retreated, and maybe your unit would have made it out of Torfan alive; but we would have lost the fight. We would have become a running joke, less of a menace, and batarians raids would have become thrice as numerous. You are well placed to know why that outcome would have been… undesirable."

"The outcome I achieved was just as undesirable." Shepard seemed to have calmed down a bit, although her eyes remained angry.

"I know you were following my orders when you lead your squad against the batarians. And I am so, so sorry for putting you in a corner, but… It was the right thing to do, even if you may not think so. You did good, child."

Suddenly she burst into tears with a quiet sob, and he hurriedly made his way to her, placing a comforting arm around her shoulder.

"It doesn't feel like I did." She managed to whisper after a little while.

"It never does."

* * *

 **Author's note:**

* * *

Whew, took me a while to go over this chapter, but here it is! Sorry about the super depressing stuff that happens. Also, sorry about the POV change that happens with Shep and Anderson. It was either that or split the chapter into two very short ones, but I was more keen on keeping it all in one chapter :)

I would like to give a huge thanks to all the people who have read/reviewed or favourited this story so far! I am always open to constructive criticism, so if you have any comments, throw em at me!


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